i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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