break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
