I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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