what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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