is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
