physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
