i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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