it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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