well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
only you would photoshop your dick
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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