too bad you live with your parents still
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
