okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
