did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wear drunk well.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize