great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize