Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
