The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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