Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.