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I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
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