Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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(602): I like to think it a success when the cops are called http://tfl.nu/b8sa

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(216): View more from Ohio

he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out

(513): View more from Ohio

so is it as big as he says?

(216): View more from Ohio

he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit

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(216): he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out (513): so is it as big as he says? (216): he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit http://tfl.nu/hksl

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(802): View more from Vermont

Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?

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(802): Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase? http://tfl.nu/m4dc

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(517): View more from Michigan

the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season

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(517): the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season http://tfl.nu/k0xy

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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(781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.

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(203): I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/9dex

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(516): View more from New York

We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.

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(516): We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story. http://tfl.nu/mad1

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

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(954): I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!" http://tfl.nu/pxgz

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(303): View more from Colorado

its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn

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(303): its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn http://tfl.nu/fhqp

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(303): View more from Colorado

Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.

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(303): Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize. http://tfl.nu/r92i

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.

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(202): I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now. http://tfl.nu/oo06

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(519): View more from Ontario

You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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(519): You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone. http://tfl.nu/p7fo

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(906): View more from Michigan

Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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(906): Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think. http://tfl.nu/xmje

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(616): View more from Michigan

youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.

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(616): youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for. http://tfl.nu/hm3o

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse

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(401): Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse http://tfl.nu/uyp3

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