Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize