Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just pee around me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
