I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize