Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
