haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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