At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize