a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
