it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
