woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize