i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
