New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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