Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I will die if light touches me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
