i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
