stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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