You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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