I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
