There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.