brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM