The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.