ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420