My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
