I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
this hospital has no fireball
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
