6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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