There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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