4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
