meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
