if only i could text you this smell
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
