im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
