I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
