How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
