Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
