last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
pray to the hookup gods
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
