He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
