i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
