the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
