Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
