awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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