East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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