Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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