I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
