i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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