The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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