I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
